How to know what you have to work on?

Vulnerability and Triggering

A question I often get asked is, ‘how do I know if I have something to work on/what I need to work on?’. This is me in a triggered state recording the answer to that question because it was in this triggered state that it all made sense how to explain it. This is a real trigger for me, it is not staged or scripted for the camera.

– Notice when you are triggered/feeling angry or threatened.

– Listen internally to what is coming up.

– Sit with the triggering and allow yourself to really feel it.

– As you sit with the emotions make a note of all the emotions you are feeling, even if they are fleeting emotions. Do not try to rationalise or make sense of them now.

– Whatever those feelings are that are coming up are what to bring to your sessions.

What happens next?

– During the session we will talk about each feeling and emotion in turn – where it shows up, how it shows up, what the feeling means to you and your instinctive reactions are to do when it is there.

– We will explore if this is a new reaction or an old reaction to when you feel this emotion or feeling.

– We will look back at when else you have felt this emotion and feeling and what was happening in your life.

– We will look at how you want to feel instead of this feeling.

– We will explore ways of allowing yourself to feel all of your feelings without the need to shut them down, drown them out or run away from them.

– We will explore a myriad of exercises you can do around processing those feelings and emotions.

– Most importantly, I will create a safe environment for you to process those emotions in the moment. I will be there as the waves come and you get to be how you need to be as messily as you need to be.

– We will end all sessions at a place where you feel grounded so you do not end a session still triggered.


If this resonates with you and you can think of some areas of your life where you feel triggered and have some processing to do, book a one-off session with me to explore what is there and how I can help you.


I am not a therapist so if what you are experience is best suited to the work of a therapist, I will work with you to find one.

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