One of the most interesting parts of coaching and working with people on trauma is when people unconsciously choose to open up to me despite the fact that I may be a huge trigger for them.
It could be my gender or physical appearance that is a trigger, yet still they start to share deep and intimate details. It only after a session or sometimes several sessions that the penny drops for them and they realise that I look, sound or have mannerisms of someone who is or was a big trigger for them.
Triggers are when people have an automatic reaction to a situation, often subconsciously, that causes them to put all of their guards up. Their guards are their protection mechanisms that can shut them down emotionally, and sometimes even physically.
Personally, I believe that subconsciously people do this without realizing that they are trying to create a new and more positive relationship with someone who looks like their current or previous trigger person. It allows them to have a voice where they get to say what they wish they had been or want to be able to say when that person had been a part of their lives.
It can be extremely healing and allows a safe space for them to process their emotions and feelings and say everything that hey have never felt able to say before. Fear of saying things wrongly or not knowing what to do when they say what they need to can be paralyzing.
As the coach it can often catch me off guard but that is half the fun of being a coach, getting to play such an important role in someone’s healing journey.
If you know someone who is ready to really find their voice and say what they have always wanted or needed to please pass on my details to them.
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