No, the title of this article is not a typo, it’s true! Now you might think I’ve lost my marbles saying that people don’t actually need what I do, however it’s so true because humanity was ticking along quite nicely without it until coaching became a thing. Instead we had mentorship and support from our communities and families which in modern society is lost for a lot of people.
What coaching does offer is a way to fast track results, and that is definitely true. With the right guidance and support, coaching is a hugely powerful tool; it can help you unscramble ideas in your head, help you start getting the ball rolling on all the things you want to do but never seem to get moving with, it helps you do deeper and more powerful healing work, and it empowers you to feel more in control of your destiny in life.
I absolutely love coaching people who have been emotionally, and sometimes physically, shutdown by trauma. I love seeing the spark of energy as people get to work on things they have always dreamed about but never had the confidence to start. And most of all I love getting to be a part in changing peoples lives and bringing them closer to their family and friends.
A recent client I worked with summed up what I love most about working with people:
“Since working with Phil my relationships with my clients, family and friends has drastically improved. More importantly, I feel like I gave myself permission to be just me. And having that feeling is priceless.”
One of the most interesting parts of coaching and working with people on trauma is when people unconsciously choose to open up to me despite the fact that I may be a huge trigger for them.
It could be my gender or physical appearance that is a trigger, yet still they start to share deep and intimate details. It only after a session or sometimes several sessions that the penny drops for them and they realise that I look, sound or have mannerisms of someone who is or was a big trigger for them.
Triggers are when people have an automatic reaction to a situation, often subconsciously, that causes them to put all of their guards up. Their guards are their protection mechanisms that can shut them down emotionally, and sometimes even physically.
Personally, I believe that subconsciously people do this without realizing that they are trying to create a new and more positive relationship with someone who looks like their current or previous trigger person. It allows them to have a voice where they get to say what they wish they had been or want to be able to say when that person had been a part of their lives.
It can be extremely healing and allows a safe space for them to process their emotions and feelings and say everything that hey have never felt able to say before. Fear of saying things wrongly or not knowing what to do when they say what they need to can be paralyzing.
As the coach it can often catch me off guard but that is half the fun of being a coach, getting to play such an important role in someone’s healing journey.
If you know someone who is ready to really find their voice and say what they have always wanted or needed to please pass on my details to them.
Here’s a video I recorded talking about the importance of recognizing that struggling doesn’t mean you’re broken or need fixing. It’s natural to experience struggles in life, prolonged struggling or constantly being stuck in a hole is definitely a time to seek professional help.
Please reach out if you feel you are struggling or need someone to talk to.